If you are single today, you are probably thinking, “When will it be my time to walk down the aisle? Time is running.” This feeling is aggravated as you see your schoolmates and workmates getting married and having children. Somehow, deep inside you, even though you don’t admit it, there’s envy. You also want that, but nothing is happening with your love life.
I know this is a common struggle among singles these days. Our culture leads us to believe that marriage can make our lives complete and satisfy us. But what does God want us to do with our singleness?
Paul mentioned in his epistle that it is better to be single because you only care for the things of the Lord, as compared with a married woman who cares about the things of her husband. Actually, this is vice versa. Once we enter into the covenant of marriage, certain responsibilities come along with it.
I got married late. I was 36 years old. During those single years that God allowed me to experience, I truly enjoyed them. I’m not saying I never thought of having someone, but I can confidently say that I was satisfied serving the Lord during those years.
There are things I would like to share with all Christian singles out there when praying for a husband or a wife.
- Same faith.
The Bible tells us that as Christians, we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). This is not to discriminate against those who are not of the same faith, but it is the right way in the eyes of God. This is for our own good, too. How can two walk together unless they agree? There is wisdom in this. Marriage involves work, and if the foundation is not right, it is most likely to go south. Marriage between two believers is already difficult; imagine if you don’t come from the same faith.
- Be in the right place.
Where is the right place? Where God wants you to be: in the church serving Him; at home, faithfully loving your family; at work, excellently doing your work; in the ministry where God wants you to be.
It’s not a popular opinion, but I don’t believe in searching for your soul partner or soulmate on dating apps. I don’t think this is what God wants. On a dating app, you search for people who match your preferences. And that person tries and waits for the right one based on his or her standards (if I may say so). It’s not waiting for God’s appointed one for you. I don’t condemn those who do, if that’s their conviction. This is my conviction, based on how I understand His Word.
- Pray for your future husband.
I never thought I would marry someone. I was content being single, doing missions and ministry. Nonetheless, in the year 2018, God impressed on my heart that one day, I would marry. I started to write in a journal about my days so my future husband could read it. In my letters, I wrote that I prayed for him and that I hoped one day I would meet him.
Around the year 2022, I prayed to God. I told Him that probably that impression way back was a mistake. It’s been years, but I could not see any little sign that I wanted to pray for a specific man. Though there were men who expressed their intention to court me, I just brushed them off, as I did not see someone close to the character that I had been praying for.
In 2023, somebody messaged me on FB. He’s an old friend from Bible school. That’s the start, and to cut the story short, he pursued me until marriage. We got married in 2024.
It’s not about how long it would take, but it’s about the right timing of God. If he wants you to meet your spouse today, it will happen no matter what. You’ll just end up being amazed. I had been to some countries and places. I have met so many people here and abroad. Amazingly, the one for me is just here, around the corner.
Praying for your future husband is marriage preparation, as you will do this for the rest of your married life. Also, you don’t know what he is facing during those times. Prayer works, we know that. And God knows that you are praying for him. We don’t know how God might work on your behalf, even if you still don’t know him yet. God knows anyway.
- Wait on God to reveal your story.
The glimpse of our story above shows how amazing God is. We don’t need to manipulate things. When the time is right, God will make it happen. Wait on Him. He makes your story extraordinary. Never rush, thinking that if you don’t grab what’s on your plate today, there will be no other opportunity. You have to think twice unless you’re sure it’s from God.
I heard this from someone: “Single years are not the years to be desperate.” I couldn’t agree more.
If you’re single, enjoy it. It’s a season to treasure and enjoy. Once you’re married, it’s forever here on earth, unless death calls one of you.
While praying and waiting, be occupied. Serve until God brings that man or woman to you.
Dear ladies, I hope that you will set your standards high when choosing your soulmate. Choose God’s standards, not men.
Lastly, be pure in the sight of God.
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