When we label women these days, we rarely hear people mention prudence, modest, gentle, wise, and meek. For us Christian women, we are already used to evaluate a woman in the context of the world where we admire those who are smart, confident, career-centered, independent, and such. We are now living in the age where women are almost on the success of bringing themselves equal with men (which they keep on fighting for decades now). As a woman of God, we do not have to believe this seemingly wise view of the world. The pattern of being a woman is not found in the modern era of powerful women nor in the society’s shallow view of womanhood where they see us as inferior to men. Instead, God desires for us to pattern our lives with how the Scriptures define our femininity. The world has been successful in changing the image of women that is far from how God intended them to be.
Our role as Christian women is to be an example to the world and to help bring the lost art of womanhood found in His Word.
When I was younger, I never found Proverbs 31 woman as a good example of womanhood that God intended us to be. For me, that woman is just an imaginary depiction of a godly character that is just an ideal but could never be achieved. Rising while it is yet night does not seem so enticing. This Proverbs 31 woman has a lot on her plate and she seemed to work hard all day long given her many affairs in life. “This is not me. I can never be a Proverbs 31 woman.” I would always tell my discipler before. I am sure, I share this same sentiment with some Christian women.
One of my discipleship group members would jokingly say, “I told you. It is better to remain single than married with those kinds of responsibilities.” Then, we would end up agreeing with her. Over the years, women have turned away from their traditional role- especially when it comes to being a housewife. We dreaded the idea of us being a nurturing woman or a caring sister or mother because we would want to be viewed as how the rest of women are. We often hear stories of our fellows telling us that we are created not to stay put with our role but to soar high and be a modern woman of competence. Is it possible that we have this perspective because we tend to see the world instead of looking to the One who created us? Where do we get our view of womanhood? Is it in self-help books that men wrote or in the Sacred book that our Father provided for us to consult? The bible tells us that we must not be conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of our mind. In this way, we may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God in our lives (Romans 12:2). How then, we know the perfect will of God if we keep on looking at the world and not the Scripture?
We are aware of how the world applauds a woman who excels in her career, who achieves her dreams, or even gains respect by the milestones she has along the way. This might not be a sin, but like what I mentioned, the Lord wants us to equip ourselves and fulfill our role according to His design (not the world’s). And, let us not forget that we are not created lesser than men. We are created equally but of different roles.
In our days where the shallow view of womanhood is patronized, how can we be a woman of prudence?
As a Christian woman for many years, I have learned that we can never be a Proverbs 31 woman apart from the Lord. This seemingly super human woman will never be in existence through her own strength. When Paul pleaded the Lord to heal him, the Lord said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness,” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). It is through our weakness that we can do impossible things in the Lord. His strength is sufficient for us amidst the impossibilities. We must therefore come boldly in the throne of God and ask for His grace that we may carry through our role as women of God.
How can we be a woman of prudence? I have some characteristics to share which we can look at in line with our desire to be a woman who can make a difference for God:
- A Prudent Woman Finds Her Identity in God
Being a prudent woman means going back to answering the basic question, “Whose am I?” When we fully understand that our identity is found in Christ, then we would be able to function as how our Creator designed us. When we keep on looking for our identity outside of Christ, everything will never be put in its right place. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) by God. Our character must be found in the way He created us. My prayer is that may our worth be dictated not by the world, but by God and Jesus – Our Savior who paid the high price, so we could be in Him.
Where do you find your identity and character?
- A Prudent Woman Finds Courage in the Lord
I admire Queen Esther for the courage that she has shown and the result of that? She was used mightily by God to save the people of Israel. When we examine her life, we see that when she decided to obey Mordecai, the first thing that she commanded her people to do was fast for her in the same way that she fasted in the Lord (though it did not literally say – but fasting is associated to communing with the Lord). She did not think of making herself beautiful in the sight of the king, so she can persuade him, nor cry in front of him, so she could be pitied by him. It is indeed a great character of a woman who believed that it is the Lord who is able to turn the heart of kings wherever He wills (Proverbs 21:1).
- A Prudent Woman is a Praying Woman
I am sure that the Proverbs 31 woman includes prayer in her daily life. It did not say that she prays every day, but I believe that instead of wallowing in the truth that she has to do a lot of things for the day, she cries out to God for strength early in the morning. As you can see, her life seems exciting and full of joy in her doings.
When Hannah was in distress because of having no children (which caused her to be provoked by Peninnah), she prayed before the Lord and wept sore (1 Samuel 1:10.) She did not go to her husband and grumble. Instead, she poured her heart out to the Lord. She recognized that the only one who could help her was God.
When we have trials or when we are in a stressful situation, as woman of God, where do we run to? To whom do we pour our hearts out? May it be in the Lord.
- A Prudent Woman is Quiet and Meek (knows when to speak her mind)
Most of us women tend to talk a lot. We always find ourselves sharing our experiences ranging from our day to day activities in the office and at home, our challenges and bad moments, most especially our greatest involvements in different areas of life. Not with this woman who played a great role in the bible history but chose to remain silent and meek. Guess who? It’s Mary. We could find her story in Luke 2: 16-19.
“And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
If I were Mary, I could have gone around telling all of those things that had happened and made myself famous in the sight of men. Since she was greatly involved in the life of Jesus, it could have been easy for her to be starred. However, she remained silent and just pondered the goodness and majesty of God in her heart. There’s a time to speak. The bible tells us that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in the pictures of silver (Proverbs 25:11). This, however does not say that women should never speak and just be silent all the time. But we are commanded to be meek as it is unlikely to be a contentious and chatty woman to attain godly character. Proverbs 21 warns us that it is better to live in a corner of a roof than with a contentious and vexing woman.
- A Prudent Woman is Wise
I used to ignore Proverbs 31 woman because I believed that she does not exist and that she is just an imaginary representation of a godly woman. I viewed this woman as nothing but a woman who does all the household chores of a housewife and that all she needs to do everyday is to serve her husband, her kids, and even her maids. In short, she is like a good household helper. I did not like that idea, so I kept on ignoring that fact that she might be the best example of what a virtuous or godly woman is like. Until there was a time in my life that the Lord had challenged me to study her life. And, I greatly discovered that Proverbs 31 does not just limit women to do all the serving and chores in the house. It is far more than that. This woman has a great deal of wisdom. She is not just a woman who does this and that, but more than that, she is of noble and godly character.
- She is praiseworthy (Proverbs 31:23, Proverbs 31:31).
- She is diligent (Proverbs 31:13,14,15,19).
- She does good in business (Proverbs 31:16, 24).
- She is full of strength (Proverbs 31:17,20, 21).
- She possesses elegance (Proverbs 31:22).
- She is kind in words (Proverbs 31:26).
- She fears the Lord (Proverbs 31:30).
She is indeed an amazing wise woman. Above all, she fears the Lord which is the best quality she possessed. Many women care after physical beauty, but towards the end, this woman teaches us that favour is deceitful and beauty is vain. It is the woman who fears the Lord shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30). As a woman who claims to love God, do you fear Him?
Whether we are single or married, God has a purpose in each of us. And, one of the purposes that He has in our lives is to be a good example to those around us in order for us to share the Gospel. Let our light so shine before men, that they might see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). Let us be a woman who is making an impact in God’s kingdom.
May you find Proverbs 31 as an encouragement on how we could live a godly life that honors God. I encourage you to study this book and discover a life that totally anchors in Him.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”
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