2025 was challenging – but it taught me many valuable lessons.
Time flies. Twelve months passed by as if they waved you “hi” and “goodbye.” As the year starts and paves a new year with a clean slate, I feel the urge to look back and visualize this year with grace and gratitude from God. One of the things I usually do is write down lessons from previous years that can be helpful in the current year.
Last year was a bit of a roller coaster for me. It was our first year together in marriage (with husband). It could be a happy year. As a newlywed couple, so many adjustments to make and challenges to face. But still,it is enjoyable to build our marriage with God’s enabling grace. Then, in the middle of the year, my mom passed away suddenly. It was the most painful moment in my life. As I navigate the trials of early marriage, I have to face my grief. I thought I could not survive. Thank God, the year has passed, and I am still here.
Today, I want to share those valuable lessons that the past year has taught me. The realizations, challenges, and experiences that somehow began to sink in and change me. Heartbreak and pain were mostly what they were, but gratitude and grace were my highlights.
This is what I want to share today.
1. Always put God first. Admittedly, with the affairs of the world, I got sidetracked. It’s not that I did not read the Bible or have my devotion, it’s that I lacked the depth of prayer and personal connection with God. Towards the end of the year, I communed with God and admitted that I could not do things on my own and my way. His blessings and instructions are the most important guidance throughout the day.
Prayer is what keeps our feet on the ground. Things are hard. We do not have to be proud, thinking that we can do everything. Thank God still for His forgiveness and mercy.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.” Psalm 25:4-5
2. Focus on your personal growth. No one can help you grow except yourself. It’s not your husband or family’s responsibility. It is yours. And growth is intentional. It won’t come by suddenly without discipline.
“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18
Grow in grace – being gracious with people, particularly your husband and family, will mold your character to be a better Christian. Grace comes with patience, love, and forgiveness.
Grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ – if there is one preeminent thing, it should be our desire to know more about God through His Word. We live based on God’s truth regardless of our emotions. Many people can quote other people more than His Word.
3. Love unconditionally. I am sure many of you are aware that we are loved unconditionally, and so we extend it to others. But I experience the impossibility of this without Christ’s help. We cannot love others unconditionally. I proved this as I navigated the early marriage. I realized that the way I serve and love my husband is conditional.
I asked why.
The reason is that the world tells us to give and take. That love is conditional. If you give, you should take it as well. It should not always be “I.” As I desire to be a biblical wife, God impressed on my heart that I should learn to love him unconditionally. And that’s the foundation of aligning His plan for a wife that He wants me to be.
Loving unconditionally is God’s picture of loving us despite our frailties and weaknesses. I am still in the process of learning more about loving others unconditionally, especially my husband.
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1
4. God’s strength is all that we need. One trap of the enemy is to make us believe that we can do things on our own. It is okay to feel this way because I am tired. Yet, God wants us to be joyful when doing things, and God reminded me that when the time comes that I can no longer bear, it is the greatest opportunity where His strength can manifest in my life. Many times, when we feel exhausted, we get mad and pity ourselves because we feel that we do all these things. Martha experienced it. When she was overwhelmed with things, she complained. Contrary to that, Mary chose to spend time at the feet of Jesus. So, what we can learn from this is that, when things are overwhelming, we spend time at the feet of Jesus. He will help us carry all those things that we can’t. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is not all bad after all, when we know how to cast those burdens unto Him.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
5. Grief is God’s invitation for us to heal in Him. When my mom passed away, my grief was at its height. Until now, grief has come in from time to time. We grieve for many reasons – it could be the death of loved ones, frustrations in life, big challenges and trials of life, and so on. With all of these, we experience grief – yet with only one truth. We can find healing in the Lord.
God is near, and He won’t let go of us.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18
6. Submission is viewed differently in God’s kingdom. The hardest lesson for me so far. As a wife, Ephesians 5:22 is my banner. Many times, I find it hard to submit to my husband because I was trained to do things my way. Yet submission is not defined by just saying “yes” nor “being silent.” God has been teaching me the biblical meaning of submission. It is the strength under control (will discuss more about this on my next blog). Our reference is always with God. That’s why the statement “if God is not Lord of all, He is not the Lord at all” is an unbiblical concept. If we are honest, no one has ever submitted themselves all to the Lord. Sometimes we are submitting these areas to God, but at times, we fail. We submit to God not out of fear, because it is right and out of reverence. This will be carried through our view of submission to our husbands. (Honestly, I have to focus on this for growth, as I failed a hundred times in this area.)
7. Never missed giving thanks for everything. With all the things that have happened, God never failed to bless me in many ways. And being grateful for even His little blessings made my heart glad.
“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
8. Show your love in action to your family. This is very important and one thing I regretted. I should have shown my love more to my mom. Don’t get me wrong. I love her. But there were missed opportunities that I could have spent more time with her. More time to say “I love you.” It’s a hard truth that we are often caught off guard. So, truly, show our love to our families while they are still alive. Of course, no one can love and help them more than God. But we can still be a great help.
9. There are treasured godly friends that God gave. Friends are a rare gem these days, especially in this world where the depth of friendship is often neglected. I wanted to thank God for a few friends who remained beside me when things were not well. I have lost so many people whom I called friends these past years. But the ones who stick with me are surely God’s gift. These are the friends who protected my name when I was not around. These are the friends who are silently praying for me and extending their help when needed.
“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
A friend loveth at all times – not only when things are well but even when things are not. Few quality and godly friends are better than many fake friends who are just there when everything is perfect.
10. Accept that no one and nothing is perfect. Expectations kill the joy of relationships and a joyful life. So, accept that no one and nothing is perfect. Not your husband, not your friends, not your family, not the other people. Likewise, circumstances vary.
I read this statement, “Lord, make me an intercessor and not an accuser.” It made me realize that I could not control others and make them change. My part is to pray for them and let God fix them. In the same way, I am not perfect. Again, love covers it all.
2025 went by just like that.
I pray that this year will be a fruitful year for you and that you grow more spiritually this year. May you hold onto the grace of God to take us through this new year.
Blessed New Year to you, dearest!
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