In the middle of this year, our mom died. My birthday has passed, my siblings’ birthdays have passed, and Thanksgiving went by with emptiness and a deep longing for a mother. It’s true that we often recognize the importance of someone or something only once they’re gone. Sometimes we take them for granted because we assume they’ll always be there. Our mom was once always there no matter what season of life we were in, and no matter how far we went, we always came home to her preparing for our arrival. The pain still lingers, even now.
Holidays like Christmas or New Year were her favorite season. It meant we could gather together as a family since we had gone away from home. By now, she should have prepared our home. She should have kept messaging us when we would go home. I remember for the past years, I always went shopping with them (with dad) before Christmas or New Year’s. Going home was always exciting. Now, it seems like a daunting task to face.
Thinking about those memories with my mom pierces my heart into pieces. Indeed, a mom is always a mom, no matter how old her children are.
This is the first holiday season without our mother, and honestly, it brings
bad moments that I don’t want to face, but I have to. I feel like I only want to be at home and let this holiday pass by quickly because roaming around during this busy season reminds me of her. She liked going around, by the way. When she died, I stopped thinking about future celebrations. I just wanted to exist.
But God reminded me that my grief can co-exist with joy. I can grieve, and at the same time, be joyful for the blessings and family that I still have.
If you are facing the holiday after a loss, let’s be reminded by these:
- It’s okay to grieve this holiday season. This is part of loving and losing a loved one.
- Have a greater perspective. We still have families and friends to celebrate with. Still be grateful.
- Pray. Whenever we think of their memories and are on the verge of crying, pray and talk to God. He can bring comfort and peace to our weary hearts. Psalm 147:3 seems to be our banner during this lonely season.
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” - Minister to our families, friends, and other people. Though taking some time alone is healthy, never let grief weigh us down to the point of depression. There is a healthy way of grieving. Again, God brings comfort, and even He encourages.
There might be times when we suddenly remember them, and it’s okay to cry. Then, smile. That’s life. People will understand. But even if not, He understands.
Let not our grief overshadow our reality. Life happens; we love them, then lose them, yet life goes on.
If you’ve lost a loved one and are having a hard time facing the holidays, I get it. May God give you the strength and the grace to embrace this season without them.
God bless you!
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