For the last couple of months, I have not felt okay. Though I still read my Bible, I have this inner state of feeling disconnected. I thought it was probably because I am still adjusting to my married life. Then, another event – the death of my mother – seems surreal, and it adds up to the load that I have been carrying. I told myself I need to pause, reflect, and ponder what’s going on inside of me. Because whatever that is, it is affecting my spiritual progress.
God led me to read Proverbs Chapter 11. What struck me the most is its second verse, which says, “ When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly, wisdom.”
Once again, God brought me to study this ugly character.
Pride is everywhere. When we look at the Bible, pride is one of the oldest sins being depicted in the life of Lucifer, who desired to be like the Most High (Isaiah 14:12-14). It all started with pride. But what is pride?
According to online definitions from various sources, pride is the exaggeration of one’s self-esteem, a high opinion of one’s own ability, or the feeling of being better than others. It’s self-conceit.
All these months, I have been struggling with pride, especially when dealing with my husband and other people. It looks normal, as I see others doing it. Yet, as Christians, we know that pride pulls us down slowly but surely. Any hint of doubt will kill our spiritual journey.
So I ask myself, why do we get proud? There are common things that cause us to be proud in a negative way.
1. Over self-confidence. This is the “know-it-all” kind of attitude. Many times, we fall into this trap. We think that we are smart enough to know everything, and we tend to look at others as not. Thus, we try to lead and dominate situations where God wants us to just follow. This is where I fail most of the time. My husband often reminds me to just try to listen and think that I do not know everything.
2. Trust in our own ability. If you are like me, who has been brainwashed about this “strong independent woman” mentality, trusting our own abilities is where we pride ourselves. We know we can do it. We have been there, and we succeeded. We forget that everything that we have is because of the grace of God. At any moment, our ability becomes futile. This reminds me of the story of Nebuchadnezzar. He was stripped of his royal throne and lived like a beast because he believed in himself too much. (Daniel 5:20-22)
“But when his heart was lifted up, and his mind hardened in pride, he was deposed from his kingly throne, and they took his glory from him:
And he was driven from the sons of men; and his heart was made like the beasts, and his dwelling was with the wild asses: they fed him with grass like oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven; till he knew that the most high God ruled in the kingdom of men, and that he appointeth over it whomsoever he will.
And thou his son, O Belshazzar, hast not humbled thine heart, though thou knewest all this;”
3. Superiority problem. Because we think that we know it all and that we have all the good abilities to thrive, we become superior to others. We see them as lesser than us. We want to subdue them.
James 4:6 says, “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”
In the eyes of God, we are all the same. He loves us unconditionally. But He delights when we humble ourselves – not putting ourselves down, but to recognize that He is the only perfect God. And, whenever we try to be like Him by always giving in to our pride, we sin.
Pride brings shame, but humility is wisdom.
Our confidence is from the Lord, not from ourselves. It is a sin to feel better and bigger (in that sense) than others and to take credit for all God’s blessings.
Prayer: Lord, please forgive me. Pride takes over my heart. Help me to overcome this and be humble to acknowledge that everything I have – my abilities, my intellect, my possessions are all yours. Mold me to be the person you want me to be. AMEN.
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