What is it about grief that seems to be forever with us, the way we forever bury our loved ones? Losing one of them means entering into the journey of grief and a new normal where we walk a different path – not the same way as we had while we were with them. There are times when we think that they are unfair because they leave us with no choice but to go on with life without them.
The path of grief is likewise unsure. We do not know how long we are at the height of our grief. One thing is for sure: we will be healed in God’s time. It’s something that we can hope for. In the meantime, we treasure this path of grieving as a way to recover from our loss. Once we lose our loved ones, things are no longer the same. What makes it painful is that we have this grip from the past where we were living within their sight. We have treasured good memories with them that are hard to let go of. We have built certain seasons around them, especially when we lose our parents. We came into this world with them at the very start. Until now, I still could not believe that my mom was gone. After barely two months of not being able to talk with her, I still have this feeling of being lost, and it seems like one part of myself is missing and cannot be restored anymore. I still find myself crying. I knew I was not the best child. My “what ifs and could have been” reminded me that we are truly imperfect and only God can take care of us perfectly. Knowing a lot of things mentally about grieving won’t ease the pain and headache that I carry inside. Though at times, they can be helpful as a way for me to go back to the reality when sudden, intense grief clouded my mind and heart.
One thing I have been learning is to be acquainted with grief. Romans 8:28 says that “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” If I believe this, then I know that my grief is not something without use. God allows this to happen to our family for a purpose. We might not understand it now, or maybe we might never understand it, but in His eyes, it is crystal clear why things happen the way it is. At times, we do not need to try to understand everything logically. It might be the call of faith and trust that God never makes mistakes. This gives us the confidence that grieving is not bad after all. It is designed by God to let us know that we are human with emotions, and grace will carry us through grieving.
We can treasure the death of our loved ones by keeping their memories. We can make them alive by living in the pieces of advice that they gave us. We can keep them with us by moving on in life, speaking about them to others, and living our lives that are worth every moment.
What have I been learning about grief so far?
Through grief, we understand that life itself is uncertain.
Through grief, we become more compassionate towards others as we go through the same pain and heartache that they have been through.
That through grief, we experience more of God’s comfort and grace.
Through grief, we realize that, truly, at the end of the day, we are individually connected with God, and all that we have are only temporary – our loved ones, our possessions, and lastly our life.
I once read this statement, “God is faithful. In life, in death, in life beyond death, God is with us.” This truth can help us walk through the pain of grieving, knowing that He is still faithful no matter what our circumstances are.
One day, we will also be the one lying in a coffin – yet God remains faithful – in life, and death, and life beyond death!
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