Have you ever regretted a word or words that you said towards others?
Maybe the author of Proverbs 15 knows exactly how difficult it is to choose our words carefully when we are on the verge of getting mad or when we are deeply offended by someone with their words. It is easier to fight them with rough words, too isn’t it? But His Word reminds us that it is very much needed to respond appropriately because its effect is long-term. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Two truths we can find here: a soft answer turneth away wrath and grievous words stir up anger. Soft answer means gentle. A soft answer means answering someone with calmness and humility, just so we can avoid any further damage. And so, we can help get things better and not worsen it because grievous or hurtful or rude words can light up the fire of anger and bitterness.
While writing this, I was reminded of my words. I am a very frank person. I tend to speak what’s on my mind. Although, I say things truthfully, my words are not good to receive. Thus, the receiver of my words remembers the manner of how I say those words more than the truthfulness of my words. I end up grieving over those words that I should have not uttered. Verse 4 even reiterated that “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.” Our tongue holds a great power in ether building or breaking a person. That’s why I need grace to speak the truth in love.
I remember a story about a person who thought that she was a nobody and useless in many ways. She never heard any words of encouragement from her parents nor loved ones. She felt as if she was like a trash – could not do anything right and good. Until someone spoke good words to her and she started to change her thinking. She told, “words are so powerful that only one person who believes in me makes me change my perspective.”
As Christians, the words that we say must heal others instead of breaking them. Yet, easier said than done. I know how hard it is to speak life around when we don’t have that grace from God. The sad thing is that, words uttered will no longer be changed. Our goal is to understand others more than we speak our ideas or opinions. Our duty is not to win when arguments strike, but to minister no matter how terrible that someone that we speak to.
One secret to be an effective encourager through words is that listen well. Sometimes, because we want to air our voice and we want others to realize their mistakes, we tend to use rough words. But this is not how the Holy Spirit would lead us to righteousness. He wants us to still shine for Jesus amidst turmoil. Because at the end of the day, God will be pleased not when we win an argument but when we are able to show His character through us.
This is a lesson that I have a hard time facing. Yet, if I want to minister to others, I must ask God to give me grace to speak the truth in love and humility.
Do you struggle to utter gentle and encouraging words?
How about when arguments suddenly arise?
When you have a hard time, ask the grace to speak healing and good words.
Let the words of our mouth brings healing to our listeners. May the words of our mouth be a source of wisdom to the listeners.
I know it is hard, but it is not us who will work on that. It is the Holy Spirit. It is God.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
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