Building a godly relationship with others is an important part of our everyday lives. Admit it or not, our relationships with others affect our whole being. Having a good relationship with the people around us is something that most if not all, desire as communication is also part of our day-to-day activities. Imagine talking to someone you don’t like. It is a burden, isn’t it? I remember that our pastor always says that if we are not okay with someone, we are able to create a different way. We can make our own door. And sometimes, window, so we won’t be able to see someone or meet along the way. It may sound funny, but it is a reality.
As Christians, we have more pressure to live by the reality that our banner should be love, having been saved and redeemed by the blood of Christ. Therefore, it is expected of us that we are to love others and get along with them well. Also, I am sure that everyone of us is familiar with the words of our Jesus when he said that we must love our neighbours as ourselves (Matthew 22:39).
Through all these years that I have been a Christian, I find this very hard to do. There are people who are not easy to love, not easy to get along with, and be at peace with. They are just simply a pain in the neck. I used to deal with these kind of people as “I don’t care about you” thing. But as I have been growing in the Lord, not having a concern with others is not a Christian-like attitude. Jesus showed us the best examples of how we ought to treat others, particular those who are in the same faith. As Christians, our standards are higher than those who are outside. And, having said this, our attitude must prove that we are in Christ. Sadly, many of us are still struggling in this area.
How can we really build a healthy relationship with others? Is this even possible? I believe that this is not just a hard duty but an impossible one without Jesus Christ in the midst of it. God has trained me for so many years dealing with difficult people. Yet until now, I still find myself struggling with getting along with others and loving them as God commanded.
As I ponder on this, I will be sharing two principles that we can apply as we are learning to see the people around us as people whom God placed in our lives to mold our character and be conformed to His.
- We are new creatures in the Lord. The day we accepted Jesus as our Personal Savior and Lord is the same day that we become a new person. The Bible tells us “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) We are now a new creature and our old self is no longer ruling over us. As what Paul reminded the Romans church, we must put the Lord Jesus Christ on, so we will not make provision for the flesh and fulfill our lust (Romans 13:14). Whenever I am tempted to satisfy my flesh to hate and feel bitter towards others who are rude and unworthy of my love and patience, I am always reminded of being a new creature in the Lord. I am not lovable, too. But God redeemed me and paid such a high price, so I could be adopted in His family. This alone is a great motivation to strive to build a good relationship with others, especially those who belong in the same faith.
So, we always have a choice – to walk in the flesh as a carnal soul or walk in Spirit exuding a Christ-like character.
2. We should treat others the way God wants us to do. Our salvation compels us to do good towards others. And doing good includes the way we treat each person whom God has placed in our lives. Those people whom we meet are not accidents. They are intended for us to either be with as we grow maturely in the faith or learn precious lessons in life. Not all of them are meant to stay with us forever. But some can teach us hard lessons and perhaps make us smile.
The question is, “how are we going to treat others?” It is simply this way: treat them the way God wants us to do. We will not be looking far any more. We just need to look at the Bible and grasp the truth.
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” Colossians 3:12-14
- Treat others with mercy.
- Treat others with kindness.
- Treat others with humility.
- Treat others with meekness.
- Treat others with longsuffering (patience).
- Treat others with forbearance (tolerance).
- Treat others with forgiveness and love.
Maybe you are thinking, is this even possible? Actually, it is not possible if we rely on our human ability. But if we cling on to the Holy Spirit, then it is. We just need that desire to really build a godly relationship with them. The Bible tells us that we must pursue peace with all men with holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord (Hebrews 13:44). One thing I have learned from this is that in seeing people the way God wants it or treating others the way He wants it is that it involves self-denial and pain. Yet it’s all worth it if our hearts desire to please our Father in Heaven.
This does not mean that we always agree with people. Or always say, “yes” to them. Nonetheless, we can always be gentle and loving even in arguments and resolving conflicts. We can always agree to disagree. Because at the end of the day, we are only accountable for our actions. And we are not called to be judges but witnesses of our living God (Acts 22:15).
Leave a comment