I know that we are commanded to love as how God loves us, but I still find myself struggling with it. It is easier to give in to the flesh of loving those who love me and showing concern to those who are kind to me. For many years, God has been teaching me the true way to love people. I have always been in situations where I always need to choose – to give in to my pride and self-satisfaction to serve what is due to people or die to myself and exude His love to those who are around.
It is always a battle for me to love. Not just love but to love unconditionally because that is what I received from above and that is what I am commanded to do. I love how Ann Voskamp defined love in words, “What matters most is that not our love that makes other people change. But that in loving, we change.” At first, I had a hard time grasping its essence. In my mind, I thought that love will change the other people. I will love others and probably, when they will realize that, eventually, they will change. But this has long been the perspective. In the end, this will cause us to be frustrated and disappointed. Whenever we expect something and fail, we end up being broken and angry. On the other hand, if we change our perspective to “in loving others, we change,” we will start to see ourselves doing the exact opposite of what is easy and convenient for us.
Ann added that “love is not about agreeing with someone. It is about sacrificing for that someone.” I guess this is what it is all about. Like what Jesus did to us, He sacrificed His life for the forgiveness of our sins. As I browse His Word and study more about love, it gives me a stronger feeling of failing to love others the way Jesus wants me to love.
In John 3:16, we can see the summary of what love is.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
God tells us that He loved us. And showed it by dying on the cross to pay the penalty of our sins so that we can have Salvation in Him. Words and actions are two important factors in loving. It is not based on feeling nor circumstances. It is solely a decision. Like what Ann said, when we choose to love, we choose to sacrifice for that person. We sacrifice our desires and convenience, our wants and plans, our time and effort. Further, we sacrifice our ideals, preferences, and standards. We sacrifice ourselves to love others the way Jesus wants us to love. Thus, we change. Because in loving sacrificially, we will discover a glimpse of love at Calvary.
Here are some practical things I do when I struggle to love others:
Focus on God who is the source of Love (He is love)
How privilege I am that the God of the universe chose to lay down His life for someone like me, who does not even matter. If God is the God of all but chooses to die for me because of love, is there any other more compelling way to love others than to look at the source of love in Jesus? I guess none at all. Though, it is a decision to do, there is always denying oneself in order for Him to be glorified through the way we show His love towards His people. Dwell on the truth not on feelings.
Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
See myself as unlovable but God loves me unconditionally
Is there any one who is perfect? None. Not even me. Whenever I come to this realization, it pumps me to see others as frail as I am. We all need to understand each other because we are all different. I have my own weaknesses and others have their own. I offend and hurt others the way some offend and hurt me. As what His word tells us, we need to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as what God has done to us (Ephesians 4:32). We cannot give what we don’t have. If we have not received love and forgiveness from God, then it is likely that we cannot extend it to others. And I thank God for His never-ending love and forgiveness in my life, these things I think whenever I am in the situation of choosing to love rather than to hate or become bitter towards a person. The moment this would sink in, then loving an unlovable or rude person becomes easier.
It is a command and a mark of a Christian
For me to love, I must understand why I need to love. First of all, I am assured that I am already born again into the family of God where love is freely given by our Father in Heaven through Jesus. When I entered God’s family, I understand that I need to treat my brothers and sisters with love. It is a command to love. God says to love others as He loves us (John 13:34). Loving others is not a trivial or optional thing. God is the one who commanded that
The second thing is that love binds Christians and loving unconditionally shows that we are in His family.
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8Top of Form
I have learned that in loving, we need to look at the cross and picture Jesus hanging on it. There’s pain. There’s hurt. There’s death. There’s sacrifice. But its fruit is unfathomable and it lasts until eternity. In the end, it’s all worth it. In the same way, we know that we are love God and others when we can deny and die to ourselves so that others may live. So that others may come to know that through us, Jesus is love. So that through us, others may find a ray of hope found in Jesus.
Do you struggle to love others? Is there specific person that you have a hard time loving? Ask God to help you.
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