Emotions are not necessarily bad if they are put in the right perspective. I believe that God created us to experience different kinds of emotions. However, once our emotions rule over us, that’s where the problem starts. We begin to have a vague and cloudy view of things and events. When our emotions take a toll on us, we start to shrink back. We begin to think selfishly and rigidly.
One of the most trivial sins that we commit is jealousy. Why trivial? Jealousy is a matter of the heart. And we don’t perceive it right away unless there is that discernment from God. When this sin is already in its climax, it will manifest in our attitude and actions. People start to notice and feel it. Some may get affected because of this selfish emotion. We all get jealous, don’t we? That’s the reason why it is necessary to deal with it so we can get away from this destructive behavior.
I have read that jealousy falls under the tenth commandment, “Do not covet.” Most often than not, we think of a romantic relationship when we hear the word jealousy. Yet this unpleasant emotion goes beyond it. And, it is beneficial to try to understand this for us to easily recognize it when we are the ones feeling it or if we are the recipient of this emotion. In this way, we can respond properly according to how God wants us to respond.
Most often than not, jealousy comes from our insecurities about something. When I was younger in the faith, I felt jealous of a woman because I believed that she is so smart and confident with the way she conducts herself. When I was in a relationship, there were times that I felt so inadequate to the point of getting mad when girls talk to my ex-boyfriend.
When I became a Christian, I had that clearer view of how destructive this sin is. But thank God because He provides the Scripture to correct and point us in the right way.
Here are some ways that we can do when jealousy attacks:
- Dig into where that jealousy comes from.
When dealing with jealousy, we need to ask ourselves, “Where did this jealousy come from?” “Why am I jealous? What am I jealous about? There are so many reasons why we feel this unpleasant emotion. Maybe we get jealous because of status, fame, dissatisfaction, pride, insecurities, relationship security, low self-esteem, and so on. So, what causes this ill-feeling towards something or someone? The Scripture says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). Dig into our hearts and ask God’s wisdom to reveal it to us.
Are the reasons for our jealousy valid or they are just the product of the condition of our hearts?
2. Acknowledge and confess.
When we have already identified the cause of our jealousy, then we can deal with it more effectively. Of course, whenever we commit sins in our lives, 1 John 1:9 is always our first resolution.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Acknowledging and confessing it to the Lord will break us free from the bondage of this sin. And we know that God always abounds in grace and mercy. He will always forgive us and as we purpose to turn away from this sin, He will enable us and give us the strength to do so. He will never leave us alone in this battle.
3. Deal with it according to the Scripture.
We get jealous out of covetousness. God knew that our hearts are wicked and desperate. That’s why He gave His 10th Commandment “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”
- Guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23
- Exchange selfishness to selflessness. Philippians 2:4; Philippians 2:3 John 3:30
- Do good regardless of how others treat us. 1 Thessalonians 5:15
- Lay down our lives for others. John 15:13
Our character is determined not by what the others do to us but by how we respond to it. Our goal is to always rejoice with the blessings and successes of others. On the other side, we can be inspired and motivated by them to do more and improve more – not out of selfish desire but for us to be used by God even better.
4. Remember to feel secure in the hands of God.
The story of David and Saul is a great reminder for us. Someone once said, “David is Saul’s enemy. But Saul is not the enemy of David.” It is indeed true! As we look at their lives, we see how troubled Saul is because of his ill-feeling towards David. This caused him to fall and end up defeated. Yet David felt secured in the arms of His God. The time came when David had the chance to kill Saul, but He chose to put everything in the hands of God. If we take action on our own, we can’t do much. Likewise, we can be David in this world full of Saul.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” Romans 8:35
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. “Psalm 23:1
We find our security in the Lord. Things and people will never complete, satisfy, and secure us. They might be for a while, but they won’t last.
Jealousy is destructive. It can never bring us far from our Christian life. This ugly emotion can branch out to other unnecessary emotions such as anger, bitterness, paranoia, and unforgiveness. I have seen people and relationships get broken and damage because of this ugly emotion. This also proves how our hearts are not in tune with God but with our selfish motives and desires.
Let go and let God deal with it. Remember, no sin is left unpunished. If other people intend to harm us because of jealousy, they are accountable for that. But if we react negatively, the Lord will also deal with us justly.
At the end of the day, love still covers all.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth, not itself, is not puffed up.” 1 Corinthians 13:4
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