What if one day, we will be able to know that our time on Earth is almost the end? What if we only have days, months, or a few years to live? How can we live when we know we are dying?
Anyway, I will not talk about death today, but life. Today, another year is added into my life years, and I could not be happier. I am celebrating my thirtyish birthday, and I am so thankful to God for giving me another year in His care. Three years ago, I got diagnosed with having tumors in my thyroid, and my life was changed drastically and dramatically. During those times, I felt so lost and downcast. I was at the end of my rope, even gasping in the dark dead-end road of life. Yet God in His faithfulness reached out His hand to hold mine, so I could get up and learn to walk again. It is His faithfulness that I am still standing strong amidst the pain and brokenness that I had gone through all these years.
What makes this birthday special? I believe that as we grow older, birthdays become more and more ordinary as compared to when we were just kids. However, as we grow older and wiser, celebrating our birthdays remind us of God’s protection and mercy. I was once 20. Then 25. Then 30. Now, it’s over 30. As I look back, those monumental moments along the road were highlighted by His wonderful orchestration of my life. Yes, most of those were pain, brokenness, and heartaches. Nonetheless, those things made me the person I am today. I became strong not on my own but because of God. I became resilient not because of trials and problems, but because the Lord enabled me to face those trials with boldness, knowing that He was with me as I went through all those painful experiences.
What Have I Treasured so Far?
Walk with Wisdom
I am not sure if we have the same thought, but whenever I hear birthdays, Psalm 90: 12 always comes to my mind.
“So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”
When my health is slowly deteriorating, I have learned to value and appreciate life even more. Life is indeed short. Death is certain. We all know that. Yet it is different when it becomes personal – coming face to face to the reality of death on our own. Sometimes we tend to say that it won’t happen to us yet. Or maybe we believe that we are too young. But when the reality strikes us, and we are not prepared, it will catch us off-guard. We start to evaluate our life in light of what matters most. We begin to drop all unnecessary baggage that we keep on carrying. We start to be more careful with every second that will pass.
My question before is, “what if I only have five years to live?” How can I live knowing that I will soon die?
We need God’s wisdom. We need to see everything from His perspective. That’s what I feel since the day that I learned my prognosis.
Brokenness is Beautiful
Really? How does brokenness become beautiful? This might be your reaction. But believe me, my friends. Brokenness is beautiful if we are broken in the Lord. The verse in Psalm 34:18 proves it.
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
We have all the opportunities to be closer to Him if we accept that we are broken. We can be at peace when we learn to lay this brokenness at the feet of Jesus. I had been broken countless times, and I have realized that the time I chose to lay it before Jesus, I felt His presence. What’s amazing is that He fixed and made me whole again.
When I was hopeless and helpless, God never left me alone. And I will never fear being broken because I know that it is His way for me to see His hands craft a unique masterpiece out of my broken pieces.
Love and Appreciate People
I remember praying to the Lord to help me more kind and to be more loving towards others. And He sends people.
I have reconciled the importance of family. For the past years, I had never thought of building a great relationship with my family. I was focused on building myself and earning money. But at the end of the day, when the world left me discouraged and shattered, my family became my other source of strength (of course, God is the main). After more than a decade, I was able to tell “I love You” and “Thank You” to my mom for raising me well. As I serve in the ministry, the more I appreciate my dad’s kindness and humility that he taught us while we were growing up.
God has slowly changed my heart to be more compassionate towards people. I have seen and felt God’s love in action during those low moments, and that compels me to love others well and of course, forgive some people who have hurt me deeply.
Love causes us to forgive and overlook offences (1 Corinthians 13).
Walk by Faith
Above all, God showed me how to walk by faith. I was the kind of person who enjoyed figuring things out and thinking logically. But I found out that in the Lord, it is always by faith. Having faith means trusting no matter how uncertain the coming days are. Faith enables us to see impossible things. Faith allows us to swerve from the natural to the spiritual world. Faith keeps our focus on what lies ahead without trying to work out plans. It is liberating. It brings peace and stillness.
My words are not enough to put those providential experiences into an article. What I can say is that today is my birthday, and I am celebrating God’s faithfulness in my life.
I know in His presence, I still have many fruitful years ahead. Nevertheless, what matters most is what I still can do today for His glory!
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