What good is it to be so sickly at all times?
I have asked that question so many times especially when I feel that my body is weak. I have wondered when would be the end of this. I have longed for those times when I was still able to do all the physical things that I wanted and needed to do. Sometimes, I dream of being well again. Sickness does not just restrict someone physically. It brings about spiritual bondage that a person might suffer and endure if it is not dealt with properly. It discourages us. Mixed emotions sometimes overpower and knock us down. We lose our joy. We forget who we are. We become a prisoner of our own selves.
For almost two years, I’ve had to face being sickly. For the first few months of being in medication, I always cried and felt that I was a different person. I often cried and asked God to heal me soon. Almost two years when I learned to lean and depend on God alone.
I could not say that those two years were really unspeakably hard. The Lord has been so good for still allowing joy and tremendous blessings in my life. Time comes that we could not rely on the help of anyone but God. I always thought that there is no storm that I could not surpass. But this time is different. In this season of my life, I have learned to fully trust Him. His mighty hands are evident and I learned to grow closer to Him.
The story of the woman who was bleeding for twelve years was marked by great faith (Luke 8:48). I believed that the woman sought out doctors, too. She might have done everything to get well but nothing in this earth cured her. God intended it to happen so that this woman would learn that faith can heal her. Faith can take place in the impossibilities. And, the woman is an example of faith that heals. It might have resounded in her being that God is our Ultimate Healer ( though He also uses other things like medicines).
We know that God has a purpose for everyone. He does not intend to heal everyone for His own purpose and reason, too. But being in a journey like the woman takes so many realizations about life and God. Sometimes, God brings us to a place where we are restricted, restrained, incapable, and hopeless so that we will learn to cry out to Him. We will encounter Him more as we allow Him to lead us to the path that is unknown and uncertain. We will learn to wait for His sufficient grace to take us through the day. That takes FAITH.
With those years that I could not work because of my health, the Lord has provided me more than enough. Families and friends are always present to lend me a hand. I could not count how many times I cried because of God’s loving care for me. I could not even remember a time when I could say that God neglected me. All I see is His faithfulness.
One of the great blessings of being sick is our ability to see how fleeting life can be. When we realize and understand by heart what James says that life is like a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away (James 4:14), we would learn to value our life the way God wants us to see it. We will learn to seek Him more as our time isn’t sure.
God’s word is what’s keeping my feet on the ground. Sometimes, people wonder how I am able to feel okay and that my life seems to still be perfect. I guess there is only one thing that I can share with. It is only by and through God. There are lonely and discouraging times, but like David, I always feel God’s presence. There are struggling moments. Hard days seem to be my normal. But I remember that God is a strong tower: and the righteous runs to it and is safe (Proverbs 18:10). In God’s presence, I feel safe.
My body might fail me but God will never be.
Why do I think that my sickness is a blessing in disguise?
I have learned to align my priorities with His.
I have learned to depend on Him alone.
I have understood His sufficient grace.
I have pondered on His goodness and faithfulness often times.
I have gone through the process of humbling myself before Him and others.
I have learned and understood much about who am I in His kingdom and so much more.
So if you are sick today or in a situation where you think that there is no more hope, look to Jesus. He knows where you are. In suffering, He teaches us to long for heaven. In hardship, He reminds us to trust and put our perfect confidence in Him. One day, every tear will be wiped away. Every pain will be taken away. No suffering can ever be compared with the joy that we will experience when we already see His glory. Hang in there!
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