“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”
Women are noisy. I used to hate this statement mostly from old people. But as I live my day to day, I have witnessed how women often express themselves and their experiences in a way that it fulfills this generalization. From sharing their household problems with cooking, cleaning, and caring for the family, to their bosses at work, until how their day ends. It is sometimes so predictable that it turns out to be like ranting.
Women are emotional, too. We share how others treat us unfairly, our boss who demands more that what could be, our neighbors who are gossiping, and even our struggles which involve others. Because of our emotions, we always tend to feel that we are the ones being undermined, bullied, or pitied for. And, our response to these, most often than not is to share them with others, especially among our fellows.
Growing up, I saw my mother nagged. It actually irritated me because I just wanted a quiet house. I could just accept the loudness of music but not voices. More so, the voice of my mother. Until such time that I told myself, “I do not want to be like that.” During those times, I never had any idea of a godly woman yet, as we were not raised in a Christian family.
Imagine that the Scripture viewed that it is better to dwell in a corner of housetop than in a wide house with a brawling woman? It is saying that “it is better to just stay in a very small corner with silence rather than a big house with a nagging or noisy woman.” It could be us, our mother, sister, or wife.
When I became a Christian and slowly my fellow women introduced the manner of women in the Bible, I was fascinated to study their lives. It brought me to study the lives of Mary, Hannah, Ruth, and Esther and the way they conducted themselves to be women who showed great strength and yet, remained quiet and godly. Above all, the character of the Proverbs 31 woman is indeed an inspiration for us women to view our role as women in line with the Scriptures (https://graceanchoredjourney.wordpress.com/2017/12/04/a-glimpse-of-a-proverbs-31-woman-a-single-womans-perspective/)
Have not I told you? I was a feminist before. I believe that men and women are created equally. And that, what men can do, women can do, too. I was an advocate of women empowerment, if I may say. Something has changed along the way. As I studied some women in the Bible, I realized how this world has been so blinded with the real definition of femininity that God has long established.
The Bible teaches us to be quiet women. However, it does not mean that we do not talk anymore. It only means that we should know when to talk, what to say, and how to speak our words towards others.
Yes, it is true that men and women are created equally, but with different roles to take. God did not intend man to be of greater value than us. Rather, in Genesis God says that He will make Adam an help meet for him (1:18). We are created to be man’s help with no lesser value.
Whenever I talk about the quietness of a woman, I always remember the story of Jesus’ birth with Mary as a witness to this amazing work of God. After all those things that had happened, she never boasted or talked highly with men. Instead, the Scripture tells us that Mary kept all those things, and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19). I am putting my shoes on Mary. Maybe if I were her, I would tell stories how the Lord told me about Jesus or how we ended up in the stable, etc.
What does it mean to be a quiet and godly woman?
A lot of misconceptions have been going around regarding how a Christian woman should be. Many thought that being a Christian means you are suppressed to talk. If you are a feminist like me before, you would say that being a quiet and submissive woman means that you are a weak woman. It is unfair. It defeats equality. I understand that. I used to think that way, too. Until I read God’s word and understood the true meaning of womanhood based on God’s perspective, then I let my view overpowered by what is true in His Word.
So, how can we become a quiet and godly woman?
Uphold Modesty
Modesty is defined as propriety in dress, speech, or conduct. Many of us women are bound to think that modesty is just wearing modest clothes (long skirts and dresses, no sleeveless, etc.). However, more than being modest on the outside is the attitude of our hearts. Once we are able to understand why we need to be modest in all, then we start to conduct ourselves in a manner that is appropriate. I believe that modesty is about reflecting God’s holiness and purity through our clothing, speech, and manners.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 ESV
Let us not be a woman who is likened to a harlot: subtil in heart with an attire of a harlot, loud and stubborn (Proverbs 9:13 and Proverbs 7:10).
Refined in Words and Actions
I am sure that we would want to be tagged as Proverbs 31 woman who is clothed with strength and dignity (25) rather than being likened to a harlot. For the Bible described her as subtil in heart and with an attire of a prostitute, loud, stubborn, and foolish (Proverbs 7).
Our actions towards others are an indicator of our godly character. Are we loud or stubborn? Do we care for our brothers and minister to them as our brothers in Christ or are we like a harlot seeking to seduce them to be our lover?
How do we speak with others? Are our words seasoned with salt that they want to hang around us or try to avoid our presence?
As godly women, it is our responsibility to help our brothers be pure in the sight of God. That is why it is important to be refined in our actions and words. More over, we need to be a godly example to other women that whenever they see us, they are inspired to keep their walk in the Lord.
For me, being a refined or modest woman is dignity and purity that reflects the character of Jesus.
Possess Prudence and Wisdom
We might probably thinking that the Proverbs 31 woman is the best example of prudence and wisdom as she oversees her household and do her daily affairs meticulously. Yes, that is right! But there is another prudent and wise woman that I could think of – Queen Esther. Remember the story when she needed to tell the king that Haman was the wicked? She fasted and planned for it. She did not hurriedly go to the King and tell him quickly. She did not think of crying or using her authority as a queen. Instead, her wisdom and courage, delivered her and her entire race. Being the queen that she was, she was able to learn the ways of the King while in the palace. And, I believe that she knew the king well when her way to deal with that matter is to prepare a banquet for the king and Haman.
“If it seem good unto the king, let the king and Haman come this day unto the banquet that I have prepared for him.” Esther 4:4
Respectful Towards Others Especially Older Men
Showing respect to the elderly is not uncommon to us. Whether we are Christians or not, respect is being taught. How much more then that we are in Christ? Our God wants us to be subject to our elders who care for our spiritual needs. More so, we have our sisters, brothers, mother, father, and people that we have to honor.
“Likewise you who are younger, be subject to the elders.” 1 Peter 5:5 ESV
Do others see us as respectful Christian woman? How is our testimony with the people around us?
Prayer: Help me dear Lord to be a quiet and godly woman that you want me to be. I want to be a quiet and meek woman with a submissive heart. May you give me wisdom to understand that my womanhood is defined by Your Word and not the world.
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