Throughout my childhood, I have not had any good memories with my grandmother on my father’s side. Although, I did not have anything against her, my heart was far from her. I never learned to love her dearly as I did not feel the love that I longed for from a grandmother. The thing that was stuck in my heart and mind is that she did not really like us around. She had her favorites. Even my siblings knew that.
My mother had been very resistant and aloof towards my grandma, too. She took grudges and maybe at some point hated her. Whenever she told us stories about her, they were all unpleasant and complaints. Because we were able to witness how she favored our cousins, we were convinced that her love for us is just out of being her grandchildren.
Last 2016, my grandfather died and I was saddened by the fact that I was not able to minister to him on his last days. From that point, I realized that I need to show my love to my grandmother and just forget the not-so-good memories with her, since she was alone now. I shared this with my mom and she was passive about it. She even frowned and always told me that she could ask the help of her favorite grandchildren and not us.
Years had gone by so fast without any thorough contact with her and we had not spoken about it.
Recently, I went home to spend some days with my family while resting. My grandma is now very old. She could barely see and do things around her house. She could hardly walk and eat. She seems so weak now. I try to talk with her and her voice is becoming soft. The old aura is gone. There is only that pitiful look and teary eyes as she tells stories on how she is surviving now that she just relies on her children’s mercy.
Seeing my grandmother like this, I could not help but pity her. She is like a flower that bloomed for a season. Now, her beauty has faded and the only thing that has remained is the dry petals, not much of use and appeal.
Amidst all of these, I noticed the change in my mother’s attitude towards her. She keeps on visiting her and even gives food and buys groceries for her. She watches her eat and talks with her often.
I wondered what happened to the woman who treasured ill feelings many years back. Then, I asked my mother and she told me that “my grandma is already old. And she has the capacity to do that so she helps whenever she can.” I barely recognized the aloofness and hatred that once covered my mother’s heart. Only love is what I see now. And, it is the unconditional love towards a woman who is undeserving because of what had happened in the past. My mother would tell me how the Lord has been so good to us and that we also can share that goodness and love to the people, even though they don’t deserve it.
For me, that is a lesson on how we can extend God’s perfect example of loving unconditionally. Whenever I see my grandmother now, there is this desire to minister and love her until the end of her life. No more bitterness. No more unforgiveness. We may not have good memories together but it is not yet late. There is still time. We can still make some.
My mother’s action inspires me in the same way as it compels me to do it to others as well. I know my mom very well. She does not like being looked down. But she is different now. It is a proof that God’s love compels us to show compassion and love to people.
We are not deserving of God’s unconditional love, too. Nonetheless, He freely gives it to us. The bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Loving unconditionally is not possible without God. But by His enabling grace, we can.
The last time I heard is that my mother reads the bible to my grandma. It is such an encouragement.
One of the things that I prayed for this year is that the Lord’s grace for me to love other more. I always remember my Pastor’s statement; Love is the banner of Christians. The Scripture teaches us in 1 John and 1 Corinthians 13 the importance of love. For without it, we can never reflect Jesus in our lives. We may serve Him the best way we could, but if we don’t love the way Jesus did, all will be put in vain. It is easy to serve and go through the motions but God knows our hearts.
Now, I truly understand God’s love that is bestowed upon us. If I could not love genuinely and if I could not pour out love to those who do not deserve it, then I believe it would not be worthy to be called a follower of Jesus Christ.
Do you have a hard time loving someone unconditionally? Look to Jesus – the one who sets an example for us to follow.
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