People say that life can change in an instant.
Parents who lost their son due to an accident, a woman who was diagnosed with incurable disease, a failing marriage that led to divorce, a father who met a severe accident, a young woman who suffered with depression and anxiety – all are real stories that we hear and experience in life. These situations will cause our lives to split in a second whether we are prepared or not.
Indeed, our lives can change in an instant. I know how hard it is to be put in a new road that is far from what we are used to or had before. We fall on our knees and pray that God will take us back to where we were, but it just can’t be. We start to feel discouraged and hopeless clinging onto that thought of“maybe this is just a season and the Lord will again bring me back to what and where I was before.” There is a burden inside that paralyzes us from truly savoring this moment that we have. There is resistance.
What am I supposed to do?
This new road seems a never-ending path and we don’t see the Lord. It is all dark and gloomy. We fear the unknown and we have “what if’s” in mind. We fear the uncertainties of tomorrow and it seems that we are trapped from nowhere without any strength to carry on. It scares us. It blinds us to see the reality because we are thinking that this is not the reality. But it is.
When I first learned that my sickness might cause me to die, I was so devastated. I was only 29 back then. From that point on, my life has changed and it will be forever. For weeks, I had struggled with fears, doubts, and depression. I did not realize that I was on denial for a season. I prayed to God to tell me that this is just a dream and that, one day, I would wake up to see the reality again– that I am not sick at all. But it is not the Lord’s plan for me to just dream. I soon realized that this is already my new reality, my new road. It is something that I need to accept and embrace.
Exercise our faith
I had a hard time accepting this new road. I had hope that this is just a detour and not the new road. I was confident that the Lord would heal me fast before my strength and hope run out. But I was wrong. My strength failed and my last strand of hope went away. There’s no more I had left. But the amazing thing that had happened is that when I have not had anything left, the Lord filled me in.
There, I realized I needed faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen” (Hebrews 11:1). I said to myself, I can’t see anything. I don’t have that certainty of tomorrow. I have to have faith in God more. The Scripture tells me how my faith must be exercised for me to see God amidst what is going through in my life.
Like the lesson that the disciples had about the fig tree (Matthew 21:18-22, (Mark 11:20-24) I need to have faith in God. And my faith will sustain me until I see the Lord ‘s deliverance.
The story of Jesus healing the bleeding woman (Matthew 9:20-22) encourages me that faith lets me experience the impossibility in God alone. This woman had an issue of blood for 12 years, and probably had gone through a lot in those years. I assumed that she had been to doctors and done things so she could get well, but in the end, what healed her is her faith alone.
The Lord allows us to experience hopelessness and dead end in order for us to know that our hope is in Him (Psalm 39:7).
There are times when our faith is not enough. Or maybe we are putting our faith on so many things in which the Lord is one of those. We don’t see Him at work when there is still strength left in us. But when we recognize that the only hope that we have is in Him, our faith will be put in Him alone. Consequently, the amazing result of this faith is seeing things that our minds cannot fathom!
Rejoice, not grieve
Is it possible to rejoice during our tough and trying times? How can that be that I have joy when everything is sorrowful? These questions may linger in our minds and that is the reason why Paul said that we “rejoice in hope; patient in tribulation: continuing instant in prayer (Romans 12:12). We have hope in Him who through His love, redeemed our lost souls. What more can He not do for us? We can rejoice in the Lord (Philippians 4:4).
“Rejoice evermore.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16
Being sickly is not easy. But I have the choice to rejoice in the Lord. And, I have chosen that. I kept resisting this new road that the Lord allowed me to take. I was not aware that in this road, I see and encounter Him more often. This might be a less traveled road, but I am thankful that He took me here for me to experience Him in a much deeper way. I have seen and continuously seeing unimaginable things that I would never have experienced should I pursued the old road that I had clung on for so many years.
It is only by His grace that I am continuing. His grace is sufficient and His power is perfect in my weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9) whenever I feel that there is no more strength in me to walk along.
Instead of holding onto and hoping for the past to return, I have come now to love this new road. And, the more I embrace and accept it, the more I see myself moving forward. Although, there are still low moments, my decision to walk with the Lord no matter what this life may bring give me the peace and assurance that I have chosen the right road.
Are you weary on where you are right now? Are you in the road where you just want to leave and forget? There is God.
Those darkest moments in our lives are opportunities to exercise our faith and see Him work through impossibilities. Our hope lies in Him.
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