Have you ever wondered how other women see you?
As Christian women, I hope that our greatest desire is to make a difference, so we can impact the world for Christ. Being a godly woman nowadays seems so impossible and I am pretty much aware of that, too! Looking at how media has greatly influenced and saturated our view of womanhood and femininity, it is almost close to impossible to live out a life that the Lord has intended us to be.
In her book “Woman of Splendor,” Linda Weber compares women as diamonds.
“Women are like diamonds. No two are alike. We are valued as precious.”
She added that as diamonds, we need to be refined by the Lord for us to achieve our incredible beauty. The diamond-cutting process is painful but adds to our beauty and it brings glory to Him.
We are valued and precious by God, but we must go through the painful process of refinement, so we could bring more glory (to Him) by being like Him.
I have a circle of friends that I treasured so much because we are committed to be accountable with each other in the areas where we need more grace and improvement. My sister Chu is also a great encouragement to me because there are times that she acts like my conscience whenever I try to do something that she knows will go against God.
One of the things that these friends had to tell me (though it hurts) is how harsh my words are. I am a straight forward person. As long as I know that I am right and that my arguments are valid, I would keep pushing it through regardless of how others might feel. I never really minding how people would feel. In my mind, I thought that it is just right. I do not lie. I just say what’s true! But again, the end does not justify the means. Later on, I realized that I might win an argument, but destroy the relationship or lose the person.
For how many years, this has been the lesson that I had to learn. And, looking back, my friends are right. This area is one of my weaknesses. I had to ask the Lord to help me overcome this ugly character as it does not bring glory to Him.
It says in Proverbs 29:11 that “ A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Listen to what Ecclesiastes has to remind us “ to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
What can we learn through this?
- That there are times when all we need to do is to be silent and let the Lord deliver us (though we are right).
- That our words, no matter what situation we are into, should reflect gentleness and kindness (it is so hard especially when we know that the other person is wrong, right?)
- It is better to listen first and ponder how we respond rather than rushing into arguing without fully understanding the situation.
- Never jump into conclusion and use it to argue and talk back.
As women, we have the tendency to talk more than listen. We express our feelings and emotions more through our words. We are created to be like this. Our task is to be responsible with our words and actions as women of God based on how the Scripture defines our femininity. And, I believed that one of the characteristics of a godly woman is gentleness in words and actions. The Bible speaks about how we ought to be gentle and kind. Look at the Proverbs 31 woman who opens her mouth with wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness. She even extends her hands to the needy.
When I read this, I could not help but asked myself, “Am I reflecting Christ kindness and gentleness in my words and actions?” ( I hope I am improving, though).
Proverbs 25 tells us how living in the corner of housetop is better than living in a wide house with a contentious woman (v24). It also says in the Scriptures that a foolish woman is clamorous, which means loud, unrefined, noisy, and blatant. She is simple and knoweth nothing (Proverbs 9:13). It is the exact opposite of the Proverbs 31 woman who is tactful, modest, and wise. I am sure that as a Christian woman, you would want to be tagged as a Proverbs 31 and not a foolish woman.
How can we be gentle in our words and actions?
Words need to be spoken in a timely manner.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” – Proverbs 25:11
I have learned that there are times when we just need to be silent with something to avoid any heated arguments, especially when it is not a matter of life and death. It is tempting sometimes to vent what is inside, but we must remember that a fool utters all his mind: but a wise person holds it back (Proverbs 29:11).
Consider others more than ourselves.
I like how Paul stated this in his letter to the brethren in Philippi. He said that “. . . but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.” A mature Christian who is clothed with humility does not aim to win an argument nor use harsh words to speak with others. He always think of what benefit and build others more than his desire to express and fight for his ideas (either right or wrong).
Listen and think before speaking.
I worked in a Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) company, and one of the things that managers on the production floor is always telling their agents is to listen to the customers more than talk. This will make them understand the customers point of view (more) before responding. These agents must aim to solve the problem and not make it worse by arguing or responding too quickly. When they would fully understand the situation, then they can think better and would be able to speak the right words with the customers.
In communication, it is indeed necessary to listen first and foremost before responding. But most often than not, we respond first before thinking. Proverbs 15:28 has the answer to that – “ the heart of righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.”
When in a bad situation with people, it is regarded to think first and calm down before pouring our words out and eventually, regret it.
Our words, as what they say have the power to build up or tear a person down. As women of God, may we reflect our walk with the Lord through our gracious words towards others. Let us be a woman who help other women be encouraged through our words and actions.
“Gracious words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the and health to the body,” Proverbs 16:24.
Being a godly woman is impossible without having the right walk with Him.
I have hoped to be a woman after God’s own heart! I know you, too! And, as we desire to be like her, as diamonds, we must be willing to expose our infirmities for refinement. We cannot be a godly woman by acknowledging that we are. We must walk and act upon it. The true test for our character is how other people see us in line with what we profess.
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