As my feet touched the cold water mildly coming back and forth, I could not help but felt a sudden sigh of relief.
It’s weird, but I like the beach because of the water. It is not that I want to swim or wallow, but I love to gaze on the seemingly wide and never-ending horizon. I like being touched by the raging waters. The view of the sea makes me think of a million thoughts and a thousand ideas about life. There is this joy that it brings whenever I am standing or walking on the shore with the water sometimes smoothly swaying on my feet. I feel so powerful when after the waves crash into my feet, I still find myself standing. On the other hand, whenever I look beyond the sea through the horizon, I feel so small and it makes me feel the sense of being lost in the vastness of it. It is scary. And that’s how it perfectly describes my life these days. I feel lost in the vastness of life that it makes me feel scared and broken.
Over the past years, I have been hearing the word “brokenness” from people. I saw people who have experienced brokenness – brokenness in relationship, brokenness in life, brokenness in families, to name a few. For me, this is just the usual thing as we live in a broken world. What do you expect? Everyone of us has a story of it. It is painful. It does hurt even more than one can imagine. I have been broken so many times in the past, and I could proudly say through my strength, “I survived.” But this moment in my life is different. My brokenness makes me ponder on brokenness itself. But I realized, I cannot change where my life is at this point. Like the feeling of being lost in the middle of the wide sea, it brings about a question, “How can I see your purpose in my life, Lord?” My brokenness paves the way to treasure God’s faithfulness regardless of the fear that I have inside of me. Nonetheless, there is beauty in it.
The Lord knew our brokenness. And, He has a purpose why we experience pain and hurt. The song by Hillsong captivates the idea of the beauty of being broken,
“All these pieces
Broken and scattered
In mercy gathered
Mended and whole
Empty handed
But not forsaken
I’ve been set free
I’ve been set free
Those broken moments that we have, remember that we can find beauty in it if we are willing to be mended and fixed by the One who created us. All we have to do is to willingly acknowledge that we are broken and be reconciled with this brokenness through laying it in the feet of Jesus. Blessings come through brokenness. When we are broken, God fixes us in new ways that we could not grasp. With an empty hand, we come to the Lord and receive His mercy to turn our brokenness into something beautiful.
King David had been broken many times, but at the end of it, he still praised the Lord. And, his life reflected a life that was full of brokenness and impossibilities. Yet, in his brokenness, he found victory in Jesus.
There are verses and promises in the bible that we can run into in times of brokenness:
Psalm 51:16-17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering.”
Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
The Lord heals. Whenever we feel brokenness, we have the choice to offer it to the Lord who can mend it or treasure the pain and bitterness that steals the joy that we have in the Lord. We can never be lost in the Lord’s mercy and love.
- Remember the joy of our salvation. We have been set free by the Lord. The power of darkness is no longer binding us. Whenever we feel broken, remember that we have been saved. David prayed to God to restore the joy of his salvation (Psalm 51:12). In humility and expectant heart, we can cry out to God to restore us.
- Brokenness does not end in pain, hurt, and bitterness. Whatever we are experiencing right now, that too, shall pass. Time will come when we would just look back and all we can see is God’s faithfulness in our lives. At this point, no brokenness is such a pleasant experience, but there is joy in the Lord.
- God is in the business of our brokenness. Our brokenness is not hidden in the sight of God. Like the song that goes, “When you don’t understand, When you don’t see His plan, When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart,” we are reminded on how we must trust the Lord in times of pain. Trust Him and He will bring this to pass. There is still hope in Jesus.
- Brokenness is a season to explore what God has prepared for us. Whether we are in brokenness (pain and hurt) or gladness and joy, the Lord has a purpose why He lets us experience those. Instead of wallowing in bitterness and self-pity, look forward to what the Lord has been preparing for us. At times like this, I know that ‘’In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, “(Romans 8:28).
I have never cried so hard all my life until these days. In the midst of my brokenness, I know that the Lord wants me to take a different path. A path that is far from what I pictured in my mind. People might not perfectly understand what I am going through, but I know God understands even more than I do (with myself). As I am learning to surrender my all to God, my encouragement is that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).
What have I had in my brokenness? In my brokenness I have found peace and stillness. In my brokenness, I have learned humility, contentment, and patience.
Now, I am convinced that truly, there is beauty in brokenness. We just have to open our hearts and mind to appreciate its hidden beauty. Just like life, we can have a different perspective in the Lord.
Are you broken? The Lord is near. May you find beauty in those shattered pieces that you are into. You just need to find the beauty in the broken. And that beauty can be seen when we seek the Lord and find comfort in His loving arms.
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